Ernest Rugby Wilkinson Carr

Saturday morning, Ernie took a pretty bad turn. He was breathing kind of heavy. Took him to the vet, and it was decided that he should probably be put down. Dill was at work, so I decided to stick with our original plan of having it done at home. Of course, nothing could be done over the weekend, so I made arrangements for Monday.
One of the girls who works at the front counter came out and gave Ernie a big hug goodbye, and there were lots of sniffles.

We spent the day cuddling and sleeping together on the couch.

Saturday night was rough. Poor little guy was still breathing heavy, making it hard for him to sleep. Vega the cat, who has been his buddy for many years now, came up and spooned him, and that put him right to sleep.

Sunday was another rough day. Lots of tears, lots of cuddles and hanging out together. By Sunday night he went outside to go to the bathroom, and just laid down, then peed when I picked him up. We cleaned him off, and put him in bed with a towel in case he had an accident.

Once again, Vega came up for massive snuggles.

After about an hour, Ernie gasped a couple times, then passed away. I screamed and cried and kept telling him I was so, so sorry and that I loved him.

The majority of people in my life (husband included) have never known me without that little dog. He was the best. Despite the other animals in our house, I can’t tell you how freaking QUIET the house seems without him. I keep reaching out with my toes to scratch his head (his bed was right by my spot on the couch, and at night he slept by my feet).

So if you’re reading this with a drink in your hand, do me a favor. Raise your coffee, beer, or gin, and give a little toast to the best dog ever. If you’ve got a furry critter by your side, give them a snorgle. If your life feels a little empty since you have no critters, get to a shelter and adopt one. (remember Ernie, best dog ever, was literally on his last hours before I took him home)

I’ll leave you with pictures of Ernie, while I go take another cry into my coffee cup.

Rough couple of weeks

It’s been an emotional roller coaster around here the past few weeks. If you follow me on twitter, then you already know this, but my dog Ernie who is about halfway past 18 years old now, quit eating and drinking after a tumble down some stairs. After many frantic trips to the vet, we discovered that his kidneys had failed. We had a couple of options. Aggressively treat it with a two day stay at the vets and an IV drip, or attempt to syringe feed him food and water and see if we couldn’t get his kidneys going. If not… well, then we would have to let him go.

Look, logically, I know that all dogs die. But all dogs are not my Ernie. So I’ve honestly never really come to grips with the fact that someday I won’t have my dog. When the vet told me that I may be facing the day that I had hoped would never come, I had a complete breakdown. I decided to give him the weekend with me syringe feeding him. Ernie HATES the vet, and I couldn’t imagine leaving him at a strange place for an entire weekend.

By Sunday, Ernie was falling down when he tried to walk, couldn’t really seem to move well at all on his own, and had no interest in food or water. I was like a zombie. Wasn’t sleeping, when I did fall asleep I would wake up at the foot of the bed curled up with my dog and no memory of moving down there. After many tears I decided that we would probably have to put him down on Monday.

Decision made, I was holding Ern on my lap and picked up a vanilla Luna bar. Ernie perked up and looked at it. I offered him a bite and he started licking the icing. Then we started offering Ernie every bit of food in the house. He ended up eating a few strips of vegetarian bacon. The next morning when we got up, he started drinking water.

A couple weeks in and Ernie is drinking on his own, playing with his toys, though not really eating very much. (Though we’ve attributed that to a sore mouth and two loose teeth. No idea what to do about that, since I don’t want to put him under to have them pulled)

Right now I’m supplementing by syringe feeding him soft food, though he’ll eat some things on his own. Drinking is no problem, and this morning he chased a squirrel up a tree.

This whole situation has forced me to accept the fact that my dog is in fact, mortal, and someday I won’t have him by my side. I’m just so, so, glad that today is not that day.

So that is the reason for my absence from this blog for a bit. Hopefully there are stress free weeks ahead with my little Ern, and I can get back to posting about the mountain of knitting that I am behind on! (Though as many of them are for books and projects due I can’t post TOO many details)!