This one time, at the coffee shop…

I overhear things here. Things that are sad or funny, things that are weird, things that are scary, and sometimes… I hear things that are all of those things.

Several months back, I was working by myself. I had just rung up a group of middle aged women, and had hopped over to the bar to make their drinks. (the majority of which were decaf, skinny, sugar free, really what is the POINT? concoctions)
And I heard this.

Lady A turns to her friends and says, Charlie* has a Spanish test tomorrow. I don’t get why they teach Spanish in school, it’s pointless!
Lady B turns to her and says, “pointless? Really?”
Lady A responds, “Yes! No one speaks Spanish! They should be teaching Mexican!”
Lady C bursts out laughing, while Lady B says quietly, “Lady A, Spanish is what Mexican people speak”.
Lady A replies, “OHHHH! I thought Spanish is what they spoke in Spain!”

Do you guys know how hard it was to not plop down on the floor and just die laughing? Do you???

*Name changed to protect the poor child who belongs to Lady A.

Oh dear, there’s a zombie in the garden again…

Neil Gaiman has a zombie in his back garden. I don’t know why. It’s really close to his writing gazebo. Maybe it gives him ideas. Personally, it would freak me out, sitting alone at night in a gazebo with a zombie lurching out of the ground nearby.

It almost got me once.

I had hoped Lola would save me, but she didn’t really care. Quiche had to pull me from it’s grasp.

Next time I went to visit, I did what any knitter would do. It was cold out, so I gave the poor zombie a glove. Maybe if it’s fingers were a little warmer it wouldn’t be so cranky and snatch at people as they passed by.

It also, I think, officially weirded Neil Gaiman out about me. Oh well, had to happen sometime.

That glove made it almost a year. But surviving a midwest winter is not easy for a glove on the hand of a zombie. So I made another one.

I think after this winter I shall make it a hat.

Button, button…

who’s got the button?


I get a little obsessed with buying buttons sometimes, so I have to come up with ways to actually USE them! Since I don’t sew very well, they have to be used in knitting!

That cowl is very simple to make. 2×2 rib with either a bulky yarn (the pink/orange in the first pic) or two strands of worsted held together. When I got to the second to last row I threw in some buttonholes, bound off, then sewed the buttons on!

*edit- Why is it my instinct, when photographing a hat, to look up at said hat for the photo? Like, “Hey, how the heck did you get on my head Mr Hat?” I mean, I JUST put that hat on my head, and I’m the one taking the picture! I know how it got there! Why am I trying to freaking look at it???

These button brim hats are just crocheted in bulky weight, with a couple button holes added in on the brim. Again, SUPER easy to make.

I just bought 3 large bags of buttons at the store last week, so it seems I’m going to be making a lot of hats and cowls this winter!

Knitting with handspun

Ever since I got my spinning wheel, I have developed an absolute obsession with spinning my own yarn! But when I first started, I couldn’t figure out what the heck to do with it! I’m not a lace weight spinner, so I don’t get miles and miles of yarn when I spin. I like a good 3-ply kind of chunky, knobby, and in some fun, bright colors!

This is some bluish/tealish yarn I’m working up right now. I dye all my own roving and I can’t seem to tone down my colors! Every time I swear I’m going to do something muted I end up with neon!

This yarn I made inspired by the little fire dudes from Labyrinth. As you can see, SUPER chunky, yet I got pretty good yardage! Enough for the button cowl,

A cowl with a really big cable…

And this twisted infinity cowl!

I also spun up some purple yarn which turned into two pairs of these cable arm warmers and…

This purple cable cowl! Not sure if I’m going to keep this cowl as is, or frog it and turn it into a hat.

I wish I could spin yarn as fast as I can knit with it! I’m dying to ply the yarn from the first pic so I can turn it into some leg warmers!

Parents, why do you do this?

There are lots of things that parents do that baffle me. The biggest one though, I see at least twice a week at work.
See, baristas, we have this sense about your kids. We can spot the spillers every single time. The kids that are going to spill their hot chocolate, or smoothie and even the smash the muffin into the carpet kids, we can spot those a mile away.

Spillers though, it’s a certain glint in the eye. So when we see a spiller, we give them a to go cup with a lid. And EVERY SINGLE TIME, the parent will take the lid off. Then guess what happens? Spilled hot chocolate/soda/smoothie all over my cool vintage orange couch and onto the carpet.

Why parents? Why do you take the lid off? You have to know that your kid is a spiller right? They must do it at home as well! If I can spot it, with my lack of children, surely you the mother or father can see it as well!

It happened just a few minutes ago. Handed a kid a hot chocolate, Mom took the lid off, Dill says, “Aw crap the Mom just took the lid o…” and “WAHHHHH” kid had spilled the hot chocolate all over the couch and carpet.

I just made them a new one and they took the lid off AGAIN. Seriously.