14 Years: Don’t bury the cake.

Today marks 14 years of marriage to Dill Hero. I always knew that I would someday get married, assumed it would be when I was 30 or so, and knew that I would wear white, but never thought too much beyond that about it. I wasn’t one of those girls or guys who planned a wedding from the second I saw a Disney movie, though I definitely thought it would be nice and fun.

So imagine my surprise when I met Dill. Well, really met him. We’d been running in the same social circle for several years but for some reason, a couple of months before my 20th birthday, I went up and started talking to him. One thing led to another and after some phone calls we went on a date. After coffee and conversation, I found myself with a boyfriend. Within a few weeks, we talked marriage, About a year later, he proposed. I never thought, “I’m too young! This is too soon!” or really anything beyond how much fun we would have together.

A month before my wedding, and again on my wedding day, my Grandma gave me her advice for a happy marriage. Don’t bury the cake.

I was confused and asked her to tell me the full story.

When she first got married to my Grandpa, she was very young. If I’m remembering correctly she hadn’t finished high school, so they kept the marriage a secret because her high school wouldn’t have let her graduate if they knew she was married. So when that was over and done, they lived together, and my Grandma, wanting to be the BEST WIFE EVER, promised her new husband a chocolate cake when he came home from work.

She worked on it all day, but at the very end, the cake completely stuck to the pan, and trying to get it out turned it into a crumbly mess. Grandma panicked, felt like a failure and buried the ruined cake, pan and all, in the yard. When Grandpa came home that night and asked about cake, she lied and said she didn’t have what she needed to make it.

I laughed the first time I heard the story, and then, when she saw me on my wedding day, she told me that story again, except this time she said “I shouldn’t have buried the cake. I should have turned it into something else we could have eaten, instead of having no cake at all.” (I’m paraphrasing a bit) 

I know my Grandma wasn’t trying to give me some deep life lesson here, she was just trying to teach me how to bake a cake, but I think it is a life lesson anyway. The times I’ve tried to hide a mess or a disaster from my husband, we’ve both just felt like crap afterwards. I’d rather we get through messes together, rather than have some secret shames apart from one another.

So that’s my advice to you, if you’re ever thinking of getting married. Don’t bury the cake. Find a way to enjoy a mess, even if only one of you caused it, together.

Speaking of which, this is the very first cake I made for Dill for his birthday/Christmas. I tried to take the layers out of the pan too soon, and they all collapsed. Dill had the idea of just icing the damn thing anyway and eating it, and it was of course, delicious. 

I’m glad I didn’t bury it.

Summer concert series!

It’s one of my favorite times of year… the summer concert series in the park! 
Almost every Saturday our little town has free concerts in our local park. Beer, wine, music and snow cones. 
Our friend John (who used to play drums in a band with Dill) is the head brewer at our local brewery. So Dill got his servers liscense and helps John pour beer at events. 
It’s not a bad way to spend a Saturday night. Listening to music, drinking beer, and of course… knitting! 
It was about 90 degrees and I was knitting with pure wool. Not my first choice, but I’m working on a proposal that is kicking my booty at the moment, so work has to get done! 
I did take a snow cone break.
And Dill poured many beers. Many of them for me!
We ended the night by being gifted free bottles of wine from one of the other booths (yay! Since I’m in indiana and can’t buy wine on Sunday it was much needed!) and helping john unload all the empty kegs. Hung in the closed brewery for more beers, ready to head home and then… food. One of the cooks brought us so much food! 
Which meant we ended up staying until midnight. Which meant we crawled into bed at 1am. All fine for a Saturday night… except when you have to wake up at 4am to go to work on Sunday! 
This summer the brewery is also serving at the local water park. You can take your beer and float down the lazy river! I see so many more sleep deprived Sunday’s in my future!

Ten Fracking Years…

Dealing with all this drama lately has me thinking a lot about the derby community, and what we’ve built (in Indy) over the past decade. Ten years is a long time to have my foot in the water of roller derby. As a skater, score girl, coach (for my lovely Wisconsin girls) fan, personality, and sometimes just a tag along for my announcer husband. (Or holding down the home fort when he’s in Detroit, Canada, Nashville, Atlanta, etc…

The 10th anniversary season for Naptown Roller Girls is almost over.

Ten years of Naptown has been a wild ride. I get chills thinking of how it started with Strawberry Jam saying, “Why isn’t there a derby team in Indiana? We should start one!”

I mean TEN YEARS. Some marriages don’t last that long! (And let’s be honest, a lot of time derby is a catalyst for that!)

For the anniversary season, they put us old gals on the posters and programs. I was on the bout opener, which was a total honor. (Photo credit to Tom “one b” Klubens)

A lot of us alumni, retired and active, showed up to participate and kick off the season. Of course, one of us couldn’t be there. I was honored when her husband asked me to walk out her jersey, but I couldn’t do it without crying.

But of course, it wasn’t all sad! In the weeks leading up to the bout, Naptown produced these awesome videos, talking about how the league got stated.

Part 1

Part 2

There’s only one game left for season 10. The STAR WARS BOUT! (Don’t worry, the league gets permission from Lucas and Disney!) Storm Troopers, Jedi, R-2… it’s always the best bout of the season!