Dear last 10 pounds…

Look, we’ve been through some great times together. You were the first ones to jump right on board during the first roller derby break. In the beginning it was all good. Sure, my jeans were a little snug, but so was my bra! I figured it was a good trade! But then, 50 of your friends started creeping in. I get that you wanted company, but I’m not into the whole “open relationship” thing. A little experimenting here and there sure, but soon, you had me sucked into a world of cheese and ice cream… I just wasn’t ready to go that far!
I got rid of your 50 friends, but you? You just can’t seem to take a hint! Months and months after they leave, and you still hang around! You’ve become that dude at the party that doesn’t comprehend that all the other guests are gone, I’ve already changed into my pajamas, and you’re asking if there are more chips!
So look. I’m usually too nice to be this blunt, but it’s over. You need to get the hell off of my body. I’d suggest departing quickly and quietly, otherwise we’re going to have to get Shaun T involved in our lives on a daily, instead of weekly, basis. You don’t want that do you?
You have until July 15th. Au Revoir hips!