I got a swift!

I’ve needed a swift forever! For the non-knitters that read my blog, this is a swift.
I use it for measuring out skeins to dye, and turning hanks of yarn into knitable little yarn balls! Not having one, literally can add HOURS of work, especially if I get interrupted while winding a hank and end up with knots and tangles. They’re a bit pricey though, so I’ve been waiting for a deal.
Last week, I got a 50% off online coupon for joann.com. THEN, a customer had gotten a $50 gift card for joann, and gave me the “leftover”, which was about $23! So I hopped on line, and with those two things combined, found out I could get the swift for around $19, including shipping. Sounded great to me! The online checkout wasn’t working, so I called customer service to place my order. There I met the lovely Francis. Francis went through the order with me, step by step, and when we were almost to the end, something on her end “messed up” and did not process my order. So, Francis, apologizing, explained that we would have to go through it all again! Okay, no problem. I am getting a great deal on this swift, I’m exciting… lets do this thing. We get to the gift card part of the checkout and… $0! Wait. What?
“Oh”! says Francis. “When we did this last time it zeroed out your balance”.
“Okay…” says I “So… what”?
“Well, there’s no money left on that card, we zeroed it out when we tried to check you out a few minutes ago”.
“Um. But there was $23 on there”!
“Yes, well, it zeroed out in the checkout, so now the system says there is no money on it. So we can’t apply that $23. You’re new total is…”
“Wait Francis. Just. Wait. Is there a manager I can talk to”?
“Well… no… not at the moment. If you want I can get one over here and call you back. Would you like that sweetie”?
“Yes Francis, I would really, really like that”.
I hung up the phone, and waited.
For almost an hour.
Wondering, is there any way I’m in the wrong here? Would a normal person just let $23 vanish like that? Am I going insane?
The sounds of She Wants Revenge singing “I wanna fucking tear you apart” played on my cell, letting me know that Joann was calling me back. Okay, deep breath. Surely the manager will see the idiocy of the computer eating my $23 right? Of course, you must be thinking to yourself, “Would she really be blogging this if that were the case”?
“Hi Mrs. Carr. I have my manager here, and unfortunately, the balance on your gift card went to $0, and we aren’t really sure how to fix that” *sounds of manager mumbling in background, “However, your 50% off coupon is STILL valid”!
Hmmm… I wonder. If I had the ability to climb through the phone and smash up this call center, what soundtrack would I want playing on my ipod? Would I go all Dawn of the Dead, and have a lounge version of a heavy metal song? Or would I want something dark and heavy, ala, NIN’s Deep, for when I stood up and surveyed the shattered remains of the office I had just devastated?
“Mrs. Carr? Mrs. Carr?”
“Huh? Oh. Um. Sorry. Look… I don’t mean to be a pain, but I would really like to buy this swift, and I would really like that $23 I had on the gift card, that was eaten by your computer system, taken off the final price of the swift. Please.” I forced my voice to stay calm, but really, I was digging my nails into my desk, and I wanted to smash my phone into the wall.
“Well… *manager mumbling* I don’t really know what we can do about this. *mumble, mumble* My manager says that maybe we could issue you a new gift card for that amount, then use that? Would that work for you”?
“Yes. Yes that would work. Thank you”.
So again, we go through the entire order then Francis hits me with… “The system isn’t taking your card”.
Now. Okay. I’m paying with my home debit card. So I log onto my bank account to check and… plenty of money. At this point I’m sick of Francis, sick of Joann.com’s mysterious, “system” that seems to hate me. Again with the manager, again with Francis not knowing what the hell to do. Apparently it’s not that there isn’t enough money in the account it’s that the “system” says my billing address and the address associated with the card don’t match.
I call bullshit on Joann, and their system.
So I try my amex.
Same thing.
Business debit.
Same thing.
“Okay, Francis. I’m having a hard time believing that this problem is on my end. Do you have tech support that could maybe let you know if your system is having some sort of outage, or if there is something wrong on your end”?
“No. We don’t have tech support here.. let me try that first card one more time”. I’m starting to hear a frustrated crack in that grandmotherly sweet voice, and wonder if very many people actually call in their orders anymore. Because seriously, Francis sounds like she has no idea what the hell she is doing. I have to repeat card numbers over, and over again until my voice is raspy. I hear lots and lots of typing, even when I’m saying nothing. At this point, we’re pushing the two hour mark for me trying to order my swift. Perhaps Joann is irritated I’m getting one this cheap, and feel they have to make me pay… somehow.
“Okay, that went through! Wow. I don’t know what happened the first few times. The system just didn’t want to process that card”!
“Right. Thanks Francis. Can I have a confirmation number please”? Because honestly? Part of me is wondering if Francis isn’t just wanting to get me the hell off her phone at this point. I take down every single bit of info I can, lay my head on my desk, and sigh. Hopefully, in a handful of days, I will have a swift.
The end of this post? I DID in fact receive my swift in the mail two days ago. And the correct amount of money came out of my bank account. I don’t understand why the fact I wasn’t willing to let some mysterious system eat $23 was so baffling to Joann Fabrics, I really don’t. I don’t know why the hell I had to spend two hours of my life purchasing some pieces of wood that spin in a circle. But I did. I finally have it, and I’m happy.
Now to buy some yarn to wind!!!