What Sassy Ate Today…

I’ve noticed a trend on the “What Sassy Ate Today” posts. The cuter the picture of Sassy, the more grievous the offense. See that above picture? That picture means that this dog got herself into some deep, deep trouble over the weekend.

We were getting ready for Gen Con on Saturday. I decided to transfer my crap to a messenger bag, as opposed to my slightly bulky purse. So necessities come out of purse, and go into messenger bag. Step outside, come back inside, and… holy crap. Stuff from my purse is scattered all over the living room and..what? What is that black stuff all over the cream colored foot stool and the cream colored carpet? What the heck could that possibly be? And why is that same black stuff on Sassy’s face? And why is there an, OMG… TUBE OF LIQUID EYELINER HANGING OUT OF HER MOUTH??????
In the span of 10 minutes, Sassy tore open the tube of liquid eyeliner, ate a chapstick and half a checkbook, attempted to chew on a metal cable needle, and ate a stitch marker.
I glared at her, she thumped her tail with the eyeliner still half hanging from her mouth.
I glared harder.
She started backing away, putting little black paw prints onto the carpet. I wiped her off, while Dill started putting the steam cleaner together. Then I glared even harder. She started shaking, and hid behind Ernie, who promptly got up, and sat by my feet as if to say, “Aw hell no you’re not dragging me into this shit”!
Luckily, all the eyeliner came up, and Sassy realized the error of her ways, for all of 10 seconds. Then she tried to eat the Bissel Steam Cleaner.
No. Really.
I wonder if the vet would do a voluntary tooth extraction on her?